A Triathlete's Manifesto
Official Blog of Pro Lindsay Anne WoodwardClosing to the 2010 season
I have not written in sometime. Plainly, I just did not know what to write.
As an athlete coming into a sport where you feel many of those within your support system have certain beliefs about your ability, which further extends to people that you hardly know having a similar notion, and you fail at those preconceived expectations, one is left with quite a void.
I will be honest, after my success in my first Continental Cup Race on April 4th I have had somewhat of a disaster of a racing and training year.
I have taken a long mental and physical break since my last race in Tuscaloosa in September, in which I just pulled myself out of. A break probably years overdo.
I have made a lot of changes in this off season, much of which boil down to the fact that I am making my own decisions in what direction I want to go with triathlon. A lot of decisions in what direction I want to go in my life.
My direction with triathlon has its hands in sole ownership. My ownership. Triathlon will become all mine, from how and what I train, to which races I decide to race, and to how much time and energy I put into it. From now onwards, at the end of each day the only pressures that will exist are my own, the successes are my own, and the failures are my own.
Happiness is a continual process to strive for and I am going in that direction, daily.
Tag The World Charity
I have recently gotten involved with Tag The World Charity. Tag the World is a non-profit organization whose mission is to raise funds and change the way we perceive charities. The 5 causes that Tag the World is helping are Children, Cancer, Africa, Global Green, and Animals. Please visit: http://www.tagtheworld.com/ to support the causes!
On August 22, 2010, Tag The World Charity will host a Celebrity Charity Triathlon. However, because of events out of their control the competition has recently turned into a Biathlon this year. Visit: http://www.TAGTHEWORLDTRIATHLON.COM/home for all the information about this event and to get involved with it in the future. I am not able to attend the race this year, but I am involved with sponsoring it through PowerBar. 
World University Games… team success, individual failure
Tears broke through my eyes as the oxygen mask was placed on my face. It happened again, a visit to the medical tent and all I could think was that I didn’t make it in the top ten.
I had started the race out well that morning. I noticed right away I was not feeling as good as I would have liked, but I brushed it aside because there is no need to think about that in the race. I made the decision early to not lead the swim like I usual because it was the smartest thing when it came to the rest of the race. I would have to be in a pack on the bike if I had a chance to break open as big of a gap as possible on the runners in the field of fifty-eight other women.
First leg of the race, executed as planned.
Out on the bike, I took control of the four women group leading by thirty seconds on the rest of the field of women. I couldn’t help, but let my mind wander a bit within the intensity of the bike about how much I really loved biking fast. When snapping my mind back into focus, I noticed that our pack had dropped the girl from Espana. I yelled to the two other women with me hoping they would understand my English, “We dropped her. We dropped her, good! Let’s take advantage! We got to open the gap”. The three of us were good for about two of the four lap bike course. Then the chase group of seven other women caught us. I said to myself, “ugh, I guess seven are stronger than three.” It was the Polish and Italian team that stayed close to the front. I was by myself in the lead pack with the rest of my USA teammates over a minute behind me. The Polish girls were strong riders. I made about two separate breakaways on the bike, but without having anyone going with me the group of eight other women caught me each time. I attempted one last breakaway with the last stretch of the last lap. I knew I had to be as close to the number one spot going into transition as I could get myself to be.
“Breakaway. Go, go, go!” I yelled in my head. I did it. I was out, but my efforts failed again. I went too soon. I got too anxious. The pack caught me again around the second to last turn and as they did the Polish women took off with the Italians chasing. I didn’t think twice before I was off after the lead Polish girl. I couldn’t catch her before T2 tired from my too-soon breakaway, but I was in the top four or five going into the run.
“Alright. We are feeling good. Last part.”
I had to slow my legs down a bit going into the run, perhaps this is always a mistake I make, I am not sure. The first lap of the run went by in a pleasantly quick amount of time. I was still in a great position, but what happened next can only be described as my body failing me. With 3 laps left to go I watched myself, like an almost out-of-body experience, just physically fail. It is interesting what happens in these moments. There is a silence that exists. I didn’t hear anything, but the internal bickering between my body and the determination in my mind, (I call him ‘WILL’). I wasn’t apart of it. My conscious mind just wanted to reach the finish line; angry with the bickering; angry with the failure; angry with how many women passed me. That anger just made me push more.
“I am done in a little bit over 2 hours”. I remember looking at the time up over the finish. “I can walk now.” One step, two step…
Tears broke through my eyes as the oxygen mask was placed on my face and a needle being stabbed into my arm. I wanted to yell out, “why does this keep happening to me,” but I didn’t have any control over my body. It had won that bickering fight with WILL at last.
My conscious mind was frustrated and immensely upset, WILL was silenced, and my body was making a trip to the hospital. With a second IV put into my second arm, my conscious mind raced back and forth between doubt, disappointment, and concerning surprise. I didn’t realize my physical body was that far gone. I didn’t understand what had happened from the first lap of the run to the last that caused me to not achieve the goal I had traveled all that way to reach.
As I write this now, the disappointment still plagues me. There is a lot I want to achieve and the fast-tracking has come to an abrupt, seemingly unhealthy, halt. This is the second time I have collapsed after a race and needed treatment. My mind is far ahead of my body, which is and always will be both a blessing and a curse. So now then the next step is to take the time to get healthy and figure out why this is happening.
As far as this past race, World University Games, I really wanted to achieve for my country. My body wasn’t there this time, but my WILL will always be. Thank you for the opportunity. I apologize for the outcome, but I hope, I can try again really soon.
Congratulations to the other girls making up the women’s USA Team… 2nd Place
St. Anthony’s, where do I start…
St. Anthony’s Triathlon 2010 has commenced and concluded. Where do I start…
A lot of “firsts” happened at this race. First non-drafting professional race. First race with this high-a-caliber women’s field. First time losing my timing chip. First time falling off my bike during a race. First time visiting the medical tent.
The specifics of the race are somewhat of a blur to me. Perhaps washed away by the IV I received in my second visit to the medical tent after passing out. But with the race over, I have gained both a level of confidence in my ability to fit in with the best, as well as further knowledge of what I need to do to fit in with the best. As I think about all that happen during this race, I am not really sure how to react. I am upset that I didn’t place better, but really reflecting back on it all, I have a hard time feeling like I wanted it to go differently. From this race, I was able to learn a significant amount of information that I wouldn’t give back. Keeping it all in perspective, this is my 3rd triathlon of this distance; 2nd as a professional. I made the decision to turn professional from amateur very quickly, after 1 race, in order to fast track the learning curve and that is exactly what I am getting, a huge learning curve.
Quote from Toni Hassler
“A lot of athletes forget that, above all, the body is only the house of their spirit; the body will do what the mind tells it to do.”
First Continental Cup race
Crossing the finish line, I gasped for breath. Wanting to collapse, but refusing; I had finished. First Continental Cup. Second Olympic distance triathlon. Fifth overall triathlon. Fourth place finish. I’ll take it for now…
The Pacific water was a refreshing cold as the tide pulled the slightly cobalt blue water back and forth on the cobblestone-like beach. I couldn’t wait to get into the water as a smile streaked across my face standing on the start line. There was the go…
Ah, the water. What a uniquely comfortable place swimming has become for me. A metamorphosis I didn’t anticipate, but joyfully welcome. As I built my way into the 1500 meters, I felt myself smiling through the water as I extended my lead. I couldn’t have asked for a better swim during this race.
The bike portion of the race however, could have had some helpful things added to it, like my electrolyte water bottle. In a rash decision turning out of the first loop of an 8 loop bike course, I dropped my water bottle.
“Hmm, that’s not good,” I thought. With seven laps to go of the 40k bike and only 3/4 of a bottle of water to last me, I ignored my unintelligent decision and focused on improving my bike drafting skills so then Alicia Kaye and I could get as big of a lead on the rest of the field as I could offer.
The Peruvian sun picked a prime day to beat down on the black tar as I set out on the 10k run. In a lackluster zone, I noticed that I was not really sweating. I stared with a dizzying focus ahead of me and made the executive decision to dial back the run.
“I did not come all this way for a DNF. I am going to finish this. I am second right now. Maybe the other girls feel like this too and I will hold second.”
Pass number 1; lap number 2; 2 laps remaining.
“Only 2 laps to go. Hold yourself together.” Existing in third place, I had been grabbing water from the volunteers at every turn I could knowing it would help with the heat if nothing else because my body was refusing to drink it in anymore. It didn’t want water, it wanted some electrolytes. I knew I was shuffling along, but on to lap three.
Pass number 2; lap number 3; 1 lap to go.
“Only 1 more lap to go. One more lap. No more passes. Hold your place.” I pushed it. With 1 more lap, I knew I had conserved enough to push it. I did not want to be passed again and I could see the next girl coming on strong.
“Go, go! Setenta ocho! Setenta ocho! USA!” I listened to the local Peruvian spectators cheering my race number as I stared, woozy, at the broken tar road ahead of me.
“Even la policía are cheering,” I thought. “Well let’s go then. They are cheering mi número for something.” I started to chime in quietly in my head at first, but quickly escalating to a silent yell, “Push Lindsay. Push! You know she is coming. This will be over quicker if you go quicker. Come on setenta ocho.” I could feel everything and nothing both at the same time as my shuffle turned into more of a desperate shuffle.The finish line corner finally came. “Yes, I’ve got it. I’ve got 4th place…”
Cross.
Three seconds later, the fifth place racer crossed. “Yes I did get it!”
Thoughts on my first ITU Elite race
First race of the year; first race of a new season; first race as an ITU Elite…
and I would describe it as an overwhelming disappointment. I cried, face in hands, 4 days later after reading the line, “…it’s easy to get outside yourself when you’re thinking about someone else” (Born To Run, 2009).
I came to this sport out of a recommendation. I came out of someone else’s vision of my potential success. Day-by-day, week-by-week, month-by-month, I have begun the process of adopting this vision as my own. Everyday I have questioned myself of why I have begun this process. Why I have made the decision to become a professional at an intensely grueling sport. So far, every time I have come up with the same honest answer. The answer never comes as, “I want to be the best,” or “I want a chance at an Olympic berth.” The answer comes simply as, “I have chosen this path because of the certain life I want to live.” Is that an odd, unconventional, non-traditional answer? Maybe, but it is one that rings true and resonates in my heart. I believe those opportunities of being the best and the chance at an Olympic berth will come from an honest journey to reach the life I want to live. That life is made up of personal criteria that I am fortunate to share with someone else.
“…it is easy to get outside yourself when you’re thinking about someone else…”
I have been in competitive sports for a long time. I have grown to know and understand that the best performances come when there is selflessness. It was reassuring to read that line and breakdown in my immense disappointment over my lack of initiative and my lack of stressing importance on understanding bike gearing and T1 efficiency in my first Elite race that led to the underperformance. It was reassuring to cry because I am not doing this solely for myself. I am doing this for the life I want to live and the people living it with me. My motivation for success in this sport comes from striving for my innate contentment and at the root of that innate contentment lays a newly found selflessness. I have realized what I am trying to build is not success in a sport, but it is much more the building of the success of my life.
